turn back time
by Lilli89
Summary: Dealing with family and job can push you far. Especially as a father… (Connor Rhodes fanfiction, also including Dr. Halstead, Dr. Manning, Dr. Charles, Dr. Choi and Rhodes daughter as a fictional character I created)- Hurt, Comfort, Drama
1. Chapter 1

**This connects with my other story long way to heaven. But you don't have to read the other fanfiction, to understand. Probably I'm only able to update slowly.**

 **I hope you enjoy it!**

 _ **Note: Amy Rhodes is Connors daughter. After her mom (Connors girlfriend) died, he took her in to live together.**_

CMDCMDCMDCMD

" Mrs. Goodwin? I have to bring my daughter to work today. I can't leave Amy alone. Her pneumonia got pretty bad and I wouldn't have a good feeling if she stays at home without someone looking out for her."

"So we take her in as our patient?", the chief administrator asked on the phone. Connor confirmed quickly.

"Eventually. Yeah."

"Alright, Dr. Rhodes. I got it. Take good care of your girl and see you later in the afternoon."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Connor put the phone on it's place, then walked back to the couch where his daughter was lying, still in fever. He touched her head, took the thermometer out of her mouth.

Her eyes were surrounded by deep holes and her cough sounded even more raspy than the day before.

"103, 8. That's a new record."

He put the thermometer on the table and sat down on the mattress next to her.

"How are you feeling?"

Amy shrugged her shoulders.

Her answer seemed clear, when the first tears escaped from her eyes.

"Hey, don't cry. It's gonna be okay", Rhodes placed a kiss on her feverish head, stroking circles on her back. Obviously crying made it even more worse, because she started to cough several times, desperately breathing for air until she felt better. Connor patted on her shoulder, even more worried by the sound of her lungs.

"But I don't want to go back tot he hospital again. I hate Chicago Med."

"Listen, it's only for tonight, okay? I'm with you and if your feeling better tomorrow you're coming home with me, alright?"

She nodded sniffling.

"Brave girl."

Rhodes grabbed the stethoscope from the table.

"Alright, let me listen to your lungs again. Take a deep breath."

He sighed by the horrible noises. It sounded like the records, they used to show medical students at college, to demonstrate how a bad pneumonia sounded.

"The pain killers are working?"

"Yeah, but I think I feel…"

She couldn't end the sentence, jumped up from the couch but didn't came far, because the dizziness destroyed her plans, to go to the bathroom. As a result she threw up on one of the blankets.

Still worried, Connor kneeled down next to her and held her head, as she was throwing up.

Powerless Amy searched for a place to sit down and finally let herself fall against to the wall.

"I'm sorry", she sobbed, getting concerned views from her fathers side.

"I know. Come, on let's get you back to the couch again", he helped her to make a few steps, until she crawled back.

The fever made her shivering and her whole body felt numb.

"Trust me, there are better days ahead", he put the blanket over her and sat down, gently stroking her cheeks.

A gesture that finally lead her to close her eyes, because she already felt extremely tired.

The last thing she noticed was her father putting the badly smelling stuff away. Then she blacked out..

CMDCMDCMDCMD

"Excuse me, Sara. But, can my Dad put the tube in? Don't get me wrong. I totally like you, but…I'm afraid of needles."

Reese smiled weakly, putting the injection aside.

"Feeling lonely, huh?"

Amy nodded.

"You don't like hospitals, do you?"

"How do you know?"

She smiled.

"It's the way you look at me. Always fearful for the next step to come."

"I thought I would be a better actress."

"Okay, let's see what I can do for you. But there is no guarantee. If he's in the operating room, it won't work."

With Amy being lucky, Rhodes just finished the paperwork. He wasn't that busy, so it was possible for him to take a closer look at his special patient.

The teenager smiled weakly when her father walked in, greeted by waving weakly.

"Your room service is coming. What do you need, young lady?"

"Putting a needle into my arm. Can you…?"

"Same problem as usual?"

Amy grimaced, anxious staring at her veins.

Connor searched for the equipment in the drawer, then glanced at this daughter.

"What is scaring you the most?"

"I just hate it. This cold feeling, when the liquid drops in. The pain. Is it really necessary?"

"Definitely. Your test results are pretty bad. If you want to come home with me as soon as possible, we have to do everything we can, to get it out of your system."

"What about the antibiotics? You promised they would work."

"Working and healing are two different subjects. If we are lucky here, you might be back in school in about three weeks, probably with some chest pain and aftermath effects."

Amys eyes widened in shock.

"3 weeks? Are you kidding me? Dad, I'm a potential candidate for becoming the head girl of our school. This contest is in about 4 days."

„If you're dying on a shock, caused by pneumonia you will never see your class mates again. Not to forget about the intubation. If it got more worse we have to put you asleep to keep you alive."

She fought tears, crossed her arms.

"Amy, it's serious. Your markers are nearly double the average. And I'm not talking to you as a dad. I'm talking to you as your doctor."

He concentrated on her veins, searched for the needle to stick in.

"Relax, okay?"

She closed her eyes, until the sharp pain set in.

"Ouch. That hurts."

"Alright. You're done", he soothed her, putting her on the IV.

She gave him the typical look of being totally overwhelmed, with her world falling apart.

As her dad he couldn't help but feel miserable for disturbing another dream. He knew the last two years seemed the hardest time of her previous life.

"See, I know what that means to you. But I'm not keeping you here, because I hate you or I want to hurt you. I care, because I love you and I want you to be safe and healthy and to live your life and go to college."

Amy bursted into tears, covered her face with her hands and sobbed violently.

Connor moaned, but came closer to put his arms around her.

He didn't say anthing. He was just there to hold her.

"Can you leave me alone?"

"Sure?"

"I need some time", she sobbed, so he helped her lying down, leaving her with mixed feelings. On his way back to his office, he nearly collided with Manning.

"You always make your daughter cry, don't you?"

"Long story. You have a couple of minutes?"

"Sure."

"Hiding spot", they both said at the same time, laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

Connor looked above the roofs of Chicago. The sun went down on the horizon, filling the whole city with a beautiful light. Rhodes leaned on the railings.

"That's the story", he ended his explanation, regarding Amys issue to Natalie, who seemed not even more helpless than he was.

"And there is no way to repeat it?"

"I don't think so. The election speeches are usually being held at the end of May. But even if I want to. Amy is too weak to leave the hospital. The problem is, that I'm always the guy who deliver bad news to her. First I promised her, she only has to stay over night. Now I had to cancel her speech."

"Did you talk to the principal of her school?"

"No. But I'm not sure if she would be able to work something out."

"Difficult, huh?"

Rhodes nodded.

"What would you do, if your son was in a similar situation?"

"I don't know. Maybe searching for something different. Something that shows him that it's not the end of the world, if he's not elected."

Out of nothing Connor got an idea.

"This is good. Thank you. I have to make some calls."

"Connor? What are you talking about?"

CMDCMDCMDCMD

"Who in hell called this guy?", Goodwin interrupted the talk of the three doctors. It was nearly midnight. Thats why Manning, Halstead and Rhodes spent some time in the breaking room, cooling down from the intensive day.

"Excuse me?"

"There's been a men outside who sold puppies right in the visitors area today . And he said some of the employees called him."

Connor swallowed hard. His view meeting with Natalies.

"However, if you know anything particular let me know. A puppy in a hospital. Some people are ridicolous ", she added shaking her head in disbelief but stopped on her way out.

"Uh, Dr. Rhodes, I nearly forgot. How is Amy doing?"

Will changed some serious glances with Connor.

"Not so good. It's bacterial pneumonia. The fever isn't getting any higher but I don't have a great feeling about her markers. The antibiotics should be already working. Despite that, her test results are still bad. And another problem is her mental condition. She had an invitation for an election of becoming the head girl of her school. But I can't let her go. Not in her condition."

"I'm sorry. That kid is an unlucky fellow", she admitted before she left the room.

Manning waited until Goodwin wasn't seen on the floor anymore, then pulled Connor aside.

"Can I talk to you right now?", she hissed at him, already getting Halsteads attention.

"Waite. It's not what I'm thinking. You are the guy who got in contact with the seller from the pet shop?", Will combined, looking like a cop who convited a drug dealer.

"Connor!", Natalie crossed her arms, implying that she was waiting for him to answer.

"Let me explain that to you", Rhodes raised his voice, getting a groan from Wills side.

"Listen, Amy had a very rough time. Everything she works for is failing and I thought buying a pet would provide her some kind of a task. Thats why I started looking for dogs. She needs something to know that life isn't alway like that. I didn't know that this seller would show up here."

„Oh boy. Next time you better look out for a fish", Halstead patted on his back, before he left the room, being called to the emergency room.

Natalie wanted to add something, but wasn't able because April Sexton entered the break room.

"Doctor Rhodes?"

"Yeah? April, what's going on?"

"It's about Amy. I'm concerned about her state. She was crying all night, woke up from nightmares several times. She said she had trouble breathing, which can't be true, because she got oxygen. If there would be something physical you would have seen it after the x-ray. It's more like something seems to bother her. I know that you had a pretty rough day but I think she needs you again."

"Thank you, April."

"No problem, Dr. Rhodes."

"Connor?"

Rhodes tiredly stroked over his eyes.

"Connor?", Manning repeated.

"Yeah?"

"Look, I think Amy doesn't need a dog. She needs you. It's your 6th night shift in one week. She seemed much better when you worked through the day after her break down and indeed you look extremely tired too. What about a break this night? Parker could cover your shirft. I'm sure we have a free bed, so you could stay at her room? Getting some sleep, being there when she wakes up. Medication isn't everything. I don't have to tell you about the psychological effect of healing, do I?"

"Okay, I'll do it. But I'm gonna check on one of my patients before. Would you mind to call Meggie, so she could provide a bed in Amys room for me?"

"Of course", Natalie blinked.

"Have a good night, Connor."

"You too. Greetings to your little guy at home."


	3. Chapter 3

"There goes your blanket and this is your pillow, Dr. Rhodes", Maggie provided the bedclothes, so Connor could spend the night in Amys room.

"Thank you, Meggie."

"And that is for you, young lady", she put the laptop on Amys night stand, who gave her a sad smile.

"Great", the teenager answered breathless, raising her hand, like she wanted to thank her.

" I'm right next door. If there is any problem, just call me, okay?"

"Will do."

"Sleep well."

Maggie closed the door, leaving father and daughter alone.

Instantly Connor stood up and grabbed a chair to sit down next to his youngest patient.

He put out his stethoscope, listened to her heartbeat and lungs, then changed the IV for another time. The antibiotics already passed her vein. Now it was time for some ringers solution and the rest of medication.

"How's the pain?"

"Better than this morning."

She couldn't end, started coughing loudly. Gasping for air, Connor put the oxygen mask on her mouth until her breathing got back to normal.

"Are you saying that because you want to get out of here as soon as possible, or because it's the truth?", he wanted to know, but she didn't respond.

Connor sat down, embraced her hand with his own.

„I fulfill our deal. I'm gonna stay the night.. But if I keep my promise you have to be honest with me, okay?"

She focused on the wall, then opened her mouth.

"Today Dr. Charles told me about this patient who was put in a coma by you. He had pneumonia. Is it true? Or just some fictional story you want to scare me with?"

Rhodes agreed by noding his head.

„Yeah, he's right. His name is Jamie and he suffered from several infections until he got some new lungs."

"You know what I ask myself? Why does my pneumonia become even more worse than getting better? Tomorrow is day 4 with taking antibiotics and nothing changed yet. With every move my body hurts and I'm even not able to go to the bathroom without help. Every step makes me sweating and freezing at the same time. Be honest: Is it really pneumonia or do you have to intubate me, like the patient you treated?"

„Remember what I told you when you wondered why your medication didn't help the last time you suffered from the flu. Any antibiotics doesn't help any body. And we're not already there to put you asleep for a longer time. Your fever stucks at 102 since this afternoon. It's a slim change but it's better than nothing."

Rhodes felt the weight on his eyes. Till now he was up since 27 hours straight.

"Indeed we have to be really careful. You've got a serious illness and in many cases pneumonia can cause asthma if it isn't treated right. Not to start with the aftermath affects."

He watched her staring at her phone on the nightstand, after another cough shook her body.

"Amy?"

"Yes?"

"What about the dreams? April told me. Since when did it come back?"

She turned her head in the opposite direction.

"Tell me. I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

The teenager gasped for air. Thats when Connor decided to put the oxygen tube in her nose again.

„No, Dad. Put it back, please. I hate to have it in my nostrils."

Rhodes didn't allow any discussion.

"Do you want to suffocate?"

"You won't let me die."

Ignoring his daughter he put them into her nose.

"I'm still waiting for an answer. What is bothering you? Except the tubes right now. When did those dreams came back again? Today wasn't the first return."

Amy hesitatet, but finally decided to tell him the truth.

"Since you're staying here at the hospital. I can't sleep when I'm alone at home. I'm afraid of losing you like mom. In my dream some creepy guy is coming to chicago med, searching for you to kill you right in front of me. I'm watching it and it freaks me out. Because I want to help you, but I can't. I witness your shooting every night you're staying here. If I lose you, I'm alone."

Rhodes said nothing. Just helped her to sit up in bed and hugged her tight.

"We gonna figure something out. Something suitable for both of us. I promise."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"No school election for becoming head girl."

"Thats not what I'm asking for. Can we put the beds together, so you're there if my condition changes?"

"Sure. But now you take a rest okay?"

Rhodes put the beds together , got a rid of his shoes and crawled under the sheets.

Shortly after he turned the light off, he felt a hand touching his fingers.

„Night, Dad."

„Good night, baby. Never forget I love you."

CMDCMDCMD

"He needs a nanny."

"No doubt about it. Thats not new to me."

Natalie, who looked through the window, watching Connor deeply asleep while he holding Amy in his arms, rolled her eyes.

"Not Connor needs a nanny. I'm talking about Amy They need someone who takes good care of her. Spending some time with her, cooking, school projects. All the things a mom would do. Connor doesn't get through that alone."

"And now? What is your future plan? I don't know anyone who would play baby sitter for Rhodes"

"There are agencies you can hire, if you're looking for someone."

"Agencies? For this girl? And this guy? No Nat. Forget about it. If you ask me, he's this close to hit the point where he has do decide if he wants to be a Dad, which means working part-time or an ER doctor. Family or job. Both is not working."

"Come on. Is that really how you're thinking about it? I'm a single parent too. It's possible."

"Yeah, if you have parents or a mom in law. Just to remind you. There is your mother looking for your kid from Monday to Wednesday and Jeffs mom, who is taking him from Thursday until the weekend."

"My son is one and a half. Amy is 14. She doesn't need care like a toddler. Are you really willingly to help?"

"Of course."

„Everything okay?", a male voice interrupted their conversation, identified as Dr. Charles, who stopped next to Will and Nat, smiling when he recognized father and daughter, deeply asleep.

"I always thought he would never reaching that point. Good to see them like this. He can be proud."

"Yeah, but that's just for today. I think they need constant help. It's just a quickly solution now. Rhodes needs someone who is taking care of Amy for longer, especially when he's working at night. It must be someone they like both. Someone they get along very well with."

Mannings view wandered around, until it hit at one place.

"Why are you looking at me like this?"

"I think I've got an idea", Natalie smiled, leaving both men in confusion…


	4. Chapter 4

"Doctor Rhodes, stop it!", April Sexton shook her head no.

"Doctor Rhodes", she repeated, but he still tried CPR.

"Connor? Connor!", Will called his colleague, looking at him seriously, while he stared at the Teenager in front of him in disbelief.

"She's gone. You've did what you can", Halstead put him out of his trance, patted on his shoulder.

"Time of dead?", another ER doctor requested, when Rhodes threw the bloody towels into the bin, directly running outside.

They had lost her. It was the first teenage victim since a few month. With the Girl having the same age as his own daughter, it became one of the hardest cases during the last weeks.

Rhodes let himself fall against the wall.

At this moment he just wanted to hug his own daughter.

"You've got a second?", he recognized the voice of his colleague.

Rhodes nodded, surprisingly looking in Will Halsteads eyes.

"I'm sorry about your patient. You did everything you can."

"Probably"

"Yeah. Nevertheless I've got to talk to you. I know it's not the right time, but Maggie gave me the results of Amys tests."

"And?"

"There's something wrong."

"Show me."

They both sat down, looking at the survey.

"I know it already got better but now her CRP marker is over 100."

"What?"

"If she would have meningitis she wouldn't be able to move her head."

"So we're talking about an incipient sepsis?"

"Yes, I'm afraid to tell you."

"Oh no", Connor shouted, already wanted to move, when Halstead held him back.

"Keep calm, okay? You want to hear my opinion? Take he to the ICU, put her on fluids and a transfusion. The creatine marker seems good, so it didn't already affect the kidneys. We need a CT of her lungs, kidneys and liver."

"We have to sedate her and need another blood draw. Insuline if her blood sugar is low."

"Add heparin, to prevent thrombosis."

"Dr. Rhodes? Dr. Rhodes", a nervouse voice appeard from the neighborhood room, coming closer. It was Reese, who stared at them with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I can't find Amy. I wanted to Change her IV but I only found this note."

Rhodes looked at the paper. His eyes widened in surprise.

"I have to go. You know where to find me", he whispered, staring at Reese

"She's on her way to school. She's joining the election. "

 **CMDCMDCMD**

"Mr. Rhodes?"

"Emma, where is Amy?"

Breathless Connor looked at Emma Shepler, one of his daughters best friends, who just took some books from her locker.

Rhodes and Halstead, still wearing their hospital clothes were running through the school corridor like maniacs.

"Emma, have you seen Amy?", he repeated. But the girl denied.

"Is she in trouble? I don't know where she is. I thought she's sick."

"We've got to keep searching", Connor informed Will and continued running, until both heard someone screaming from next door.

"Help! Somebody help! Call 911!"

For a short seconds, Connor didn't believe his ears, until he reached the room where the noises came from.

Amy remained restless on the ground. The school principal, who tried CPR, was sitting right in front of her, pushing her chest.

"Dr. Rhodes?"

Fearful Connor and Will got to the ground.

Trembling Rhodes took over, while he tried to find her pulse.

„ Her heart stopped. She went into V-Tech", he screamed at his colleague. Everything seemed like a bad movie to him. He reacted automatically, like he wasn't himself anymore.

"Call 911", Connor told the principal, desperately trying CPR to save his daughter. His ears burned from the blood running through his head. His skin turned red, because of the heat that filled his whole system.

"Come on. Come on, come on. It's not time yet", he continued, trying CPR and only stopped when he recognized Halsteads reliving words.

"I've got a pulse. It's weak. But it's there."

"We can't waite. We have to go. Let's get her in the car."

With the help of Halstead, he managed to carry her out oft he school, finally put her on the backseat of Halstead car.

"You're driving. I'm staying with her", Connor instructed breathless.

"You're sure?"

"Do it!", he yelled, putting her on his lap. Her face was white as a wall.

"Still breathing?"

"Weakly. I continue to supply her with oxygen. Can you drive faster?"

"Man, I'm having a speed of 90. If we're involved in an accident, we never get her to Gaffneys alive."

The rest of the drive became silent. Connor continued to keep his daughter steady, while Will gave his best to get the car through the traffic.

Finally the panic hit back as soon as they reached the hospital.

"Oh my god", Maggie whispered when they reached the entrance.

They put Amy on a stretcher, fastly brought her into Trauma number 1.

"Okay, I need every hand right here. She's got a septic shock. She already got in v-tech, but we got her back for first", Connor told his colleagues with a raspy voice, praying to god, for the first time in 10 years…


	5. Chapter 5

It was already late when he got out of the OR. He was barely able to walk alone. His knees felt like they were giving in and his head ached from the pain, caused by the past hours of anxiety and horror.

He didn't know how but he managed to enter the quiet room, a special area for patients who lost a relative or had a loved one in a critical condition.

As soon as he sat down he felt the tears coming. The adrenaline came out, mixed with all the feelings he buried deep inside for the past hours.

Connor sobbed heavily, covered his face with his hands.

Normally he locked himself out if he had to cry. But on this day, the old rules didnt apply to him anymore.

It took him some minutes to get back to normal. But when he wanted to get out, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up in surprise and recognized Zanetti, sitting right next to him. For a few minutes both remained in quiet, until Sam raised her voice.

"How is Amy?"

Connor shook his head.

"Her penumonia caused a sepsis. We don't know if she's gonna make it. We changed the antibiotics, had to intubate her, get her on a ventilator and put her to sleep. She wouldn't be able to take the pain. We still search for the source, that causes her sepsis. It's touch and go. "

"What about her vitals?"

"Surprisingly her kidneys and liver are stable. I can't tell where the infection is coming from. She belongs to the 20 percent where it's hard to define the reason."

"How long was she out?"

"Her principal started CPR as fast as possible, so it means her brain wasn't without oxygen for too long."

"Thats's good."

"We treated her pneumonia early. We already hit the golden hour. If it would be the typical kind of sepsis, she would be dead. Seems like the antibiotics gave us some kind of a protrusion. But despite that we don't find the reason. where in hell is the source of it? We checked the lungs, checked the liver. We know that her pneumonia caused the sepsis. But that doesn't mean we can exclude another invasion. The pneumonia put her system down, which explains she had a high risk for any bacteria. The problem is, that we can't locate the source where the bacteria comes from."

"Okay, let's do some research. What happened the days before? You have to remember."

Connor nervously played with the phone in his hands.

"Think, Rhodes. Was she at a dentist? Or did she cut herself on something? Remember the days before she got sick."

Different situations ran through Connors mind. Suddenly a sharp pain filled his stomage, when the memories came back.

"Her shoulder. That's it. That's where the bacteria comes from."

He jumped up from his chair.

Sam looked at him, completely confused. She didn't know what he meant.

"Around a week ago, she told me that she hurt heself on a bottle when she felt to the ground, while playing soccer."

His eyes lightened up.

"So what are you waiting for. Let's get it clean."

"Thank you, Sam. You're incredible", he whispered, running tot he ER…

CMDCMDCMD

"Seems like, you're right. The marker is around 95 now. The infection is in regress. Her vitals look better. Nevertheless she's still got a long road ahead of her. Her immune system is down and it will take her a few weeks to heal but it seems like you caught the source oft he problem." Will Halstead explained to his colleague,whose eyes met with his.

"So you're ready to reduce the medication to wake her up?" Dr. Charles asked. Choi, Halstead and Rhodes nodded in agreement. Shortly Mrs. Goodman had set up a meeting, so the doctors were able to discuss Amys state together.

"If it's under 70 we can risk it. She's getting a high dosage of morphine."

Natalie and Sams view met with Connors, who looked at them in relief.

"Rhodes, if this is over and she is ready to go home, do yourself a favor and take two weeks off." Sam suggested.

"At least." Choi added and got a confirmating nod from Manning.

"We all know what an artifical coma means for a patient. Especially when it comes to the aftermath effects. Halucination, fear, anxiety, panic attacks and after all that she needs your more than ever. She nearly died and I don't have to tell you how a recovery like this works. Not to speak about how the last days messed you up. No doubt, we need you here. But in a healthy state. Look in the mirror and you know what I mean."

Rhodes view wandered around. To his surprise he noticed that everyone seemed to agree with her.

"Okay, you're right. I'm gonna take some days off." He got up, pointed to the floor.

"I'm right next door with Amy. In case you need me."

"I'm gonna replace you later, so you can get some sleep, right?", Charles suggested, getting the confirmation from Rhodes.

"Thanks to all of you", he whispered in a raspy voice, before he walked to the ICU...


	6. Chapter 6

"Keep holding her hand. It's just me", Charles twinkled when he entered the room. He grabbed a chair, when Connor looked up to him.

"Showing emotions as a doctor is nothing you will be punished for", Daniel noticed, lowering his voice. Feeling uncomfortable Connor still stroked the inner side of her hand.

"You're making one mistake, Connor. Leaving your feelings out, when people come in for help might be working. And it's a good protection to concentrate on your job. But only as long as it's not your own flesh and blood that is lying on the table. I'm sure Amy's appreciating you staying here when she wakes up."

Rhodes tiredly wiped his face.

"You know what? Yesterday was the first night she didn't call me. And you know why? Because you were there", the psychiatrist explained. Rhodes stared at him in shock.

"Excuse me, what?"

Connor didn't know what he meant, until Charles told him.

"I gave her my number and she calls me. Every time she can't sleep or is waking up from a nightmare."

"She never told me that."

"Does she have to?"

"No." Rhodes mouned.

"See Daniel, I can't quit my job. I worked so hard to get here. It's my life."

"Nobody said that."

"And what else should I do? I would need two clones of myself to handle my job and my role as a father."

"Just be yourself. Like you did after your trip to Lakewood. If you can't come home. Why isn't she coming here?"

They looked at each other, until Rhodes twitched. He stared at Amy.

"Her hand moved."

"She's waking up."

Charles smirked.

"What else did you expect? She's your girl. Sure she's gonna win the election next year."

Connor rolled his eyes.

"Do me a favor and avoid this issue fort he next time."

With Amy moving her arm, they were forced to interrupt their discussion. Gentely Connor removed the tube from her throat.

"Where… where am I? Dad?"

She was so confused of what happened, didn't know what was going on.

She already started coughing, fighting the tube in her nose.

"Dad? It hurts."

"Shhhhh….Amy. It's okay. I'm here", he squeezed her hand, looked at Charles, a meaningful Expression on his face.

"Listen, you're still at Chicago med. We had to put you to sleep after you collapsed. You still recover from a sepsis, but you're gonna be alright."

"What?"

She got nervous, tossed and turned in bed.

"Help me. Get this out", she tried to fight the needles in her arms, already wanted to get up in bed, when Connor pushed her down.

"Whooo. No, we're not doing this", he softly put his hands on her shoulders to prevent her from fighting him.

"Sedatives?", Charles whispered in Rhodes ear, who nodded.

"Prepare 200. But waite for my sign."

"Alright."

Rhodes gentely squeezed both of her hands.

Amy started crying, completely overwhelmed and unaware of what was going on around her.

"Amy, look at me. Can you squeeze my hands?"

She succesfully did.

"Attagirl. Who is this?"

„Let me get out", she cried instead of answering his question. A typical reaction, caused by medication.

"Rhodes", Daniel shook his head no, to tell him to stop experimenting.

"Dr. Charles", she sobbed, earning reliefed glances from both sides.

"Very good."

"Put this out. I want to go home", she begged him, but he didn't respond, gingerly pulled her in his arms, , placing his head next to her pillow, although she was lying down.

"Shhh… I got you. Close your eyes and think about a warm summer day. You're at the beach, looking at the ocean. The sun is shining down on you. You can listen to the sound oft he waves. It's warm and you put your feet into the water", he stroked her forehead. Ultimately it worked. Rhodes looked at Charles, who stared at him with big eyes.

Within minutes she was fallen asleep without sedatives on her own again…

CMDCMDCMDCMDCMD

"Awesome. I'm thrilled. You've given me chills, Dr. Rhodes", Daniel admitted, leaving Amys room room, after Manning replaced Connor.

Planning to talk about the upcoming time, both catched a break at Charles office.

"What do you think about the aftermath effects?." Connor wanted to know, getting shrugging shoulders as an answer.

"Seen patients in a worse condition. The last one pretended to be Madonna, thought she was on a rock concert."

Rhodes smirked sadly.

"Seriously, it takes time. I would consider it as a typical brain reaction. Like cold turkey", Daniel explained, folding his hands.

"Hallucination, nightmares, concentration problems, headaches. Sounds great." Rhodes irony was obvious.

"Thats why you made the right the desicion to keep her company." She needs you now."

Charles grabbed a pencil, wrote something on his business card.

"My home number. In case there is anything you need. One call and I'll be right there."

"Thank you."

Connor got up, ready to leave his office.

"Dr. Rhodes? "

"Yeah?"

"You can be proud of youself."

"What do you mean?"

Connor raised his eye-brows, not sure how to take his words.

"Because you know something your father never did. How to be there for a child."

The smile on Rhodes face got bigger within minutes.


	7. Chapter 7

**I just want to thank you for your reviews :) It means a lot to me.**

 **I hope you enjoy the next chapter.**

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"Here comes your special good night gift from me to you, young lady", Connor balanced a cup of milk into the room, placing it on the table.

Amy looked at him with tired eyes. She got up from the couch, taking a sip from her chocolate.

There was nothing she wanted more than a deep sleep. But since she still suffered from the aftermath effects of the operation , she already suspected it won't happen anytime soon.

Connor sighed, looked at her in concern and sat down with her.

Being dressed in his pyjamas, he already fell asleep, until Amy stood in front of his bed, crying because another nightmare leaded into a panic attack. Like Charles told him, she still suffered from heavy side effects of her coma.

It was the second day after her release from Gaffneys and Connors second day without work, since Miss Goodwin accepted his request for two weeks of unpayed holidays.

"Hey. Calm down, alright?"

Connor stroked her forehead. To his luck it felt cold. He pulled her blanket closer, when he realized she started shivering.

"Don't leave me", Amy begged him in a shaky tone, when he grabbed another blanket from the closet and crawled next to her, put his arm around her shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere. "

She stared at him in relief.

"But you need to rest."

The 14 year old looked tortured.

"Listen. I'm aware that it's scary, but it's nothing uncommon. These are normal reactions to the drugs you got, okay? Just try to accept it."

"You're not the one, who was lying in coma, were you?"

"No."

"Then stop telling me."

She tried to avoid looking at him.

"No one said that it's easy. Feeling sick, barely able to walk. But we're in this together. You can count on me."

"Is it how you describe somebody who needs to be treated like a disabled person? I was still more independent when I went to junior high school."

"Always remind yourself that this is just temporary, right?"

She raised her eye-brows like she had trouble to believe his words.

"If the whole process continues like that, I'm not even ready to walk longer than a half mile till christmas."

"And?"

"And? Dad, are you out of your mind? This is not the life I want to live. Did you look at me? I'm a walking wale."

"So it would be better to be dead right now?"

She became silent.

"Did you realize what you did to me for a second?"

Seeing the tears in his eyes, she refused to answer.

"I had to CPR my own daughter. My own flesh and blood. Do you think this is funny?"

Both remained in silence.

"You should get some sleep now." Connor already wanted to shut the light off, when Amy continued speaking.

"I'm sorry, okay?"

He looked at her in surprise, then pushed the button of the night light.

"You need to rest."

"Dad, I didn't mean what I said."

"Amy, it's okay."

He tucked her in, then grabbed his own blanket and laied down on the other side of the couch.

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"You're doing great", Connor encouraged Amy, who took a seat on a bench heavily breathing after a walk in the park. It was a beutiful summer day that father and daughter spent together. Making it Conners second week at home, he still tried to get her more stable.

Making it 3 weeks after her release she still recovered from her illness.

"5 steps more than yesterday. One year and I'm probably able to join the fitness team of my school to become the taillight. But thank you", she mumbled sarcastically, unhappily kicking a stone to the gras.

Sighing Connor sat down next to her

"Don't be so hard to yourself. You still remember what I told you?"

"Do you want to cheer me up?"

Rhodes smiled mysteriously.

"No, but probably something else will."

"What does that mean?"

"There is a surprise waiting home for you."

"You invited Sam for dinner, didn't you?"

"No, not this time. I think we're good right now. It's a gift from me to you. You're one of the bravest teenagers I know and since you're putting so much energy in your recovery I decided that it should be honored."

"Dad, I'm the only teenager you really know. But thank you."

Rhodes couldn't resists but smiled. He put an arm around her shoulder and kissed her forehead.

Amy looked up at him in surprise.

"What was that for?"

"Must there always be a special reason to give you a hug? I'm just thankful that your mom in heaven decided not to take you away from me so soon."

"Heaven? Since when do you believe in hell and heaven?"

"I don't know. Let's get you home, huh?"

She followed him, than stopped in the middle of the way.

"Anything wrong?"

Amy tiredly wiped the upcomong sweat away.

"Same as usual. Feeling a little bit dizzy."

Connor walked back to her.

"Alright. Time for plane B."

"What are you doing?"

"Ready for a ride?"

"Dad?"

"Come on. Piggyback."

Connor put her on his back and started walking until they got home…


	8. Chapter 8

"Weakness and sweating. Walking a half mile is much for her right now", Connor told Charles, who was sitting in the Rhodes living room, still preparing the surprise.

"Dad? When can I come in?", Amy screamed from the floor, still waiting to get in, while both men prepaired everything for her present and used the time talking about their patients condition.

"Couple of minutes. Enough time for another episode of Third Watch!", Connor responded.

"Awww", she moaned, but went upstairs, so both doctors continued speaking.

"I didn't really expect it to take this long. Her test results are still good. But the recovery seems to last like forever."

"Be patient. And don't forget we talk about pneumonia and sepsis here."

"Yeah, you might be right."

"How about her brain? Further psychological effects?"

"Still sleeping in the same room. One nightmare a day, hedaches. Feels more like having a baby instead of a teenager sometimes."

"Why do you think it works like this? I mean why is she alot better when you're around?"

"I don't know. Maybe she feels more safe and protected then,it reminds her on her childhood."

"You want to hear my advise?"

Connor nodded.

"Keep it that way. At least for 2 weeks. It's a special situation that requires special treatment. Maybe our little friend will help her to sleep in her own room again", Charles stroked the fur of the puppy, Rhodes finally bought as a secret gift. It was a wirehaired terrier, the kind of sort, Amy alway begged for.

"Alright buddy. Can you do that? Can you provide some comfort to your new owner?"

The dog baied and wagged his tail.

"And if not?"

"What helped her to stay when you put her in her own grip as a baby?"

"I don't know. It was her moms task. Maybe something familiar. Like a stuffed animal or her towel."

"Then do it. Give her something familiar. It can be a framework with a photo or your watch or something personal like that."

"Dad, can I come in now?", Amys came back. Charles nodded his head, opened the door.

"There you go, Mrs. Rhodes."

"Doctor Charles? Are you the surprise?"

"Take a look right there", Daniel said to her, when she already started running.

"Oh my god. A puppie", she ran tot he little dog, pressing it against her chest.

"That's the surprise?", Amy asked and got Connor to nodd. Before he could help, she ran in his arms and gave him a bear hug...

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"We named him Christopher."

"Like Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh?"

"No, like Christopher Columbus, the conqueror", Rhodes explained to Halstead, who looked at the computer with wide eyes, after they talked about one of their patients.

"How is she?"

"If you ever have a kid with a sleeping issue, buy a puppy. Could save you some extra hours of sleep."

"You're funny."

"Dr. Rhodes, you daughter wants to talkt o you", Reese informed Connor, creating a surprised smile in his face.

"Is she in trouble?"

It was near midnight. A fact that put Connor in a bad mood.

" I don't know, but she seemed fine."

"Been pleased to early, huh?", Halstead mourned, when Connor already set out to his office, already having a guest for him to waite at the reception.

"What the hell happened?", Connor wanted to know, noticing that Amy wore her work out clothes.

" I locked myself out."

"Great. And how did you get here? Did you walk on your own?"

"I tried, but I had to stop near the station. I was to weak, so I called Natalie and she brought me in here."

Connor rolled his eyes.

"Doggie stays with Mrs. Dolan", she explained her puppy staying with a neighbor.

Connnor groaned, shook his head in disbelief.

"Will I ever get you growing up?"

Amy smiled as innocent as possible.

"And now? What am I doing with you? Can't cancel my job to drive you home."

"So I have to stay here to be your asistant."

"No, defnietly not. You've got to go sleeping. Now"

He pointed to the floor.

"You stay at my office to get some rest. And you'll regret if I see you talking to April in the middle of the night. Do you hear me?", he handled her they keyes, giving her a strict look, watching how she directly walked towards his office.

As soon as she left the door, his alarm went on.

"Dr. Rhodes. Your patient, went into V-tech", Meggie screamed from her desk. Connor ran tot he ER, without noticing a special stranger, watching everything.

Amy hid behind a corner, came out and stared through the window of the ICU.

There was blood everywhere. She watched her father, trying to resuscitate a young girl, around her age. She didn't know who the teenager was. But she had seen her here and then at her school.

Watching the whole procedure, she started to feel sick and her heart beated as fast as it did when she ran a marathon before her illness.

Desperately she watched Will Halstead making a typical gesture, then Connor closed his eyes and shook his head before he removed the tubes.

She knew what that means. The girls life was over. She was gone.

To her regret, Connor turned around and his eyes met with hers.

"Who in hell let her in?", he shouted, then he stepped outside.

"I told you to stay at my office", he yelled. Thats's when she started running. Without knowing what she did, she ran outside and stopped at the middle of the road, when she recognized a car coming her way…


	9. Chapter 9

Sadly I have to announce that we're getting close to the final chapter of the story.

A big thank you to Ms. Isabella and rocknrollprincess for the support and also to all the other followers.

I hope you enjoyed reading and probably we will hear from each other again.

CMDCMDCMD

The tires squeled and she landed in the middle of the side walk. The adrenaline filled her whole body.

Realising that there was no pain and the car just stopped centimeters in front of her made her to get up. Trembling Amy stared at the traffic right front of her, when she recognized foot steps coming closer.

"Are you okay?", she heard her father screaming until the question was repeated by the driver.

"Is she okay?"

Connor checked on his daughter, nodded in relief.

"Seems like it."

The driver got back to the car.

"What are you doing?", she heard Connor shouting and felt a sharp pain in her body that forced her to throw up in the middle oft he street.

She kneeled down and puked, while Rhodes stroked her back, until she finisched.

He searched for a tissue, gave it to her.

They sat down on a bench. Noticing that she started to shiver, he put his white cape around her.

"Why don't you follow my orders? An ICU got it's name for a reason. It's not a playground. People are dying in here."

The tears dropped down on her face, hit Connors cape.

"I'm not telling you things out of fun. I have my reasons, okay?", he said pissed and angry, tiredly wiped his eyes because he already spent more than 12 hours at Gaffneys at this time.

"When you tried CPR on me. Was it like this?", Amy asked, making Connor to stop breathing for a minute.

"Who told you that?"

"Natalie. I asked about the time I was out. Why didn't you tell me. You said, I collapsed and you just had to put me in coma. There was no word on CPR."

Connor avoided to glance at her.

"You had a very long road ahead of you. And you're still having health issues. I didn't want to make it worse and seeing you like this was something I better wanted to forget."

She recognized the water in his eyes and became silent.

"You have no idea, what it feels like, if you're having your own kid, lying on the table, not knowing if she's gonna make it. And you are the one who's trying to get her back to life. You If I hadn't been able to save you, I would never forgive myself."

She looked at him, while he bit his lips, fighting that he didn't lost it.

Amy, who recognized the seriousness of the situation, made an effort and embraced her father.

"I've seen mom for a short time. She's fine. I thought it was hallucination, caused by the medication. But I rode a book at the library and it tells about something, which is called near death experiences. I've seen a white light and all the memories, back when I was a kid. Scenes with mom, you and me, until she arrived and told me that my time didn't come. I think there is something between heaven and earth we don't understand", she whispered.

Connor was speechless, barely able to speak.

"You're not going back there, for a very long time", he tightened his grab and rocked her in his arms.


	10. Chapter 10

I have to admit that I'm running out of ideas when it comes to the story. That's why I decided to post this chapter and take a break.

Until I'm not sure if I'm going to continue the story it remains uncompleted.

Thanks for your reviews and favorites.

CMDCMDCMD

"Dad? Is everything alright? Or is it because of me cooking? Didn't you like my food?"

Connor turned around when he recognized footsteps behind him, finally identifying the person as Amy. He was sitting in the gras, at a park near their house, with a glas of wine, looking at the stars, that were shining after a hard day of work.

"No, it was delicious. Really. I just had a very rough day at Gaffneys, but it's not on you, okay?."

"Would you tell me?", she took a seat next to him in the gras.

Connor looked at her. Because of him having tears in his eyes, she seemed a little bit shocked.

"I'm not sure."

"You don't have to."

Amy leaned her head against his shoulder, when she could hear him sniffling.

"Today was a bad one, because I lost three patients, you know? Two oft them were siblings. 8 and 12 years old. One had dark blonde hair and blue eyes, reminded me of you as a kid", he spoke with a raspy voice. Amy took his hand.

"I…I'm sorry."

Connor put his arm around her shoulder.

"But I'm sure you did everything you can."

"Sometimes everything isn't enough, you know?"

"Yeah, maybe."

They both looked at the sky.

"Don't worry. If there is a heaven, they going to see mom. She will protect them."

Connor smiled sadly, took Amys hand and looked at her.

"You're the most important thing in my life. You know that?"

She nodded.

"I do. You know, I've seen grandpa yesterday and I started thinking. We only have this single life. Do you think it's still a good idea to avoid contact", Amy thouight loudly. Connor shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't prohibit you to meet him. You should gain your own experiences. But I decided, that he's not worth to spend my life time with him."

"So you wouldn't be angry if I drop by to visit him?"

"It's your only grandpa. Why should I?"

Connor sighed.

"Listen, Amy. What do you think about a short trip? Just you and me for one weekend?"

"Honestly?"

"I worked overtime, so I still have a few days left where I can stay at home."

"Sounds great", she smiled, snuggling on his shoulder.

"I'm so happy about your recovery. You have no idea what that means to me."

"I'm reliefed too. Just happy to be alive."


End file.
